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Obits ~ A pairing
comparing the 1806 and 2006 obituaries
The name of the obiter who penned the following notice of Dexter's
passing remains unknown. Historians consider it less likely a member
of "The Fourth Estate" but one from "The First Estate,"
for there has been speculation that the eulogist was one of the "blind"
clergy that Lord Dexter had often criticized in "Pickle."
The
writer's pharisaic phrasing leaves a bitter aftertaste, with no trace
of sympathy or compassion typically reserved for the recently departed.
It is a startling piece, more a commentary on its partial "imparter"
than the departed. J. P. Marquand said it best in his fictionalized
biography of Dexter when he asserts that the obiter "had not
the wit to see how truly bright a light had passed, for it needed
one of the Knowing Ones fully to understand."
This
entry must be prefaced with sentiment from one most sentient of the
Knowing Ones: Jonathan Plummer.
In a broadside entitled, "Something New" that was published
upon his patron's death, Plummer concluded that Dexter's many acts
of charity so overbalanced his faults, when adjudged before the "Throne"
Lord Timothy Dexter would finally rest in "the glorious company
of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
The following
is the text of Lord Timothy Dexter’s obituary, published in the Newburyport
Herald, October 24, 1806.
Departed
this life, on Wednesday evening last (October 22, 1806), Mr. Timothy
Dexter, in the 60th year of his age, --- self-styled ”Lord
Dexter, first in the East.” He
lived perhaps one of the most eccentric men of his time. His singularities and peculiar notions were
universally proverbial. Born
and bred in a low condition in life, and his intellectual endowments
not being of the most exalted stamp, it is no wonder that a splendid
fortune, which he acquired (though perhaps honestly) by dint of speculation
and good fortune, should have rendered him, in many respects, truly
ridiculous. The qualities of his mind were of that indefinite
cast which forms an exception to every other character recorded in
history, or known in the present age, and “none but himself could
be his parallel.” But among
the motley groups of his qualities, it would be injustice to say he
possessed no good ones --- he certainly did.
No one will impeach his honesty, and his numerous acts of liberality,
both public and private, are in the recollection of all, while one
of the items in his last Will will be gratefully remembered.
His ruling passion appeared to be popularity, and one would
suppose he rather chose to render his name “infamously famous than
not famous at all.” His writings
stand as a monument of the truth of this remark; for those who have
read his “Pickle for the Knowing Ones,” a jumble of letters promiscuously
gathered together, find it difficult to determine whether most to
laugh at the consummate folly, or despise the vulgarity and profanity
of the writer. His manner of
life was equally extravagant and singular. A few years since he erected
in front of his house a great number of images of distinguished persons
in Europe and America, together with beasts, &c,. so that his
seat exhibited more the appearance of a museum of artificial curiosities
than the dwelling of a family. By his orders a tomb was several years
since dug under the summer house in his garden, where he desired his
remains might be deposited (but this singular request could not consistently
be complied with), and his coffin made and kept in the hall of his
house, in which he is to be buried.
The fortunate and singular manner of his speculations, by which
he became possessed of a handsome property, are well known, and his
sending a cargo of warming-pans to the W. Indies, where they were
converted into molasses-ladles and sold to a good profit, is but one
of the most peculiar. His principles
of religion (if they could be called principles) were equally odd:
a blind philosophy peculiar to himself led him to believe in
the system of transmigration at some times; at others he expressed
those closely connected with deism; but it is not a matter of surprise
that one so totally illiterate should have no settled or rational
principles. His reason left
him two days before his death, but he has gone to render an account
of his life to a just and merciful Judge.
The
funeral of Mr. Dexter will be to-morrow, at 3 o’clock, from his dwelling
house.
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